Something I've been thinking about lately is polyamory - i.e., ethical nonmonagamy, or dating multiple people at once who all know about each other.

One of the basic tenets behind polyamory is a belief in the endless capacity of love. While some people are satisfied and happy with monogamy, others feel love for many people, and loving one person doesn't dampen their love for another person. Each relationship can be as full as the next, as emotionally fulfilling, as passionate, as deep, as complicated, and as important. That's why the infinity symbol is often used to symbolize polyamory, which I think is so perfect!


I've been polyamorous for years now, which makes me view relationships differently. Personally, I don't believe that any one person can fully meet the needs of another person. They may be someone you love deeply, but maybe your senses of humor don't connect, or maybe your favorite kink is one they hate, or maybe they aren't equipped to provide you with emotional support as often as you would like. Some people in monogamous relationships view conflicts like that as just challenges to work through, and I admire that! But for me, I honestly think polyamory makes my relationships healthier on every side. If one partner isn't fulfilling a certain need or desire of mine, then another partner is - and neither of those partners feel a need to be perfect for me, or a pressure be my everything. We all get to be individuals who come into each others' lives to make them richer in the ways we do it best.

As you can imagine, this also makes me view companionship differently. I'm sure everyone reading this is aware of the trope of companions being homewreckers. I don't think of myself that way at all. My clients have their relationships outside of seeing me, and honestly, I hope seeing me can help make those relationships even stronger. I know that when I was dating, having multiple relationships made all my relationships stronger. For example, someone I was dating didn't have much of a sex drive because of a medication she was taking. Another person I was dating had a wild sex drive, and I had a lot of fun with him! Because of the happiness I got with the second person, I felt even happier to be with the first person, and I didn't feel deprived of something I really enjoy. I would hope that a client who experiences intimacy with me that they may not be getting somewhere else can leave our session feeling satisfied, and no longer feel like they're lacking something they really want. I believe that feeling of satisfaction is pretty far from homewrecking!

But, that's just my opinion on it, which I know is a bit unconventional. Either way, polyamory is important to me, and I enjoy bringing this attitude towards intimacy and relationships to my sessions. And I absolutely get a happiness from being a companion that I can't get anywhere else!

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